A Friend sent me an e-mail earlier this week or the later part of previous week. Thanks! It listed 45 items which a 90 year old had shared as life lessons with a local newspaper. I like many, differ with a few and would clarify a few others. Number 38 stated: All that truly matters in the end is that you loved. I disagree. I am no ogre, I do believe in the power of love without a doubt. However, I profess that in the end all that matters is that you did good. Not just that you intended to do good, as the result is truly important.
At home this translates into all younger generation getting a healthy dose of ‘no’. All of us(cousin's, their kids,my siblings,) will attest to the fact they are truly loved by both parents and the whole family in general. They will also attest that they don’t always get their wish or demand. In many instances, they have to earn much of what they get. The goal is to create good men & women. This requires that they be prepared to handle life’s onslaught when it is their time to face the difficult path of life. They must experience some setbacks and frustrations now in order to learn how to cope in the future. We also instil in them to do good, not just feel good. They know that when they don’t carry themselves as they are expected to, there are consequences – lost privileges, monetary loss, having to listen to respective mom's and elders expound on the error of their ways, etc.
This same rule applies to me. I can’t be an ideal or an example to the younger kids, the power of ‘no’ if I get everything I want. The argument can be made that it truly is ‘my money’ when I need something. That argument will win the day, however, if it’s just a matter of who owns the finances, then the message is clear: when you’re older you can do as you well please. That’s not it. We as individuals must say no to what we want on a regular basis. It’s called self control. It applies to any facet of life.Ah, that doesn't mean you stop your medications and most important things to your life like my hubby used to frequently tell me : you stop taking those medicines you would be better(Any & all kinda meds).It doesn't work that way. Wants need to hear a 'No'than needs.
‘No’ appears counterintuitive to our belief in pursuing happiness. However, life will tell us ‘no’ many times and we must be able to accommodate that within our overall pursuit of happiness. Go out and do good! Oh heck, throw lots of love around too!!
Stay Happy My Friends!
At home this translates into all younger generation getting a healthy dose of ‘no’. All of us(cousin's, their kids,my siblings,) will attest to the fact they are truly loved by both parents and the whole family in general. They will also attest that they don’t always get their wish or demand. In many instances, they have to earn much of what they get. The goal is to create good men & women. This requires that they be prepared to handle life’s onslaught when it is their time to face the difficult path of life. They must experience some setbacks and frustrations now in order to learn how to cope in the future. We also instil in them to do good, not just feel good. They know that when they don’t carry themselves as they are expected to, there are consequences – lost privileges, monetary loss, having to listen to respective mom's and elders expound on the error of their ways, etc.
This same rule applies to me. I can’t be an ideal or an example to the younger kids, the power of ‘no’ if I get everything I want. The argument can be made that it truly is ‘my money’ when I need something. That argument will win the day, however, if it’s just a matter of who owns the finances, then the message is clear: when you’re older you can do as you well please. That’s not it. We as individuals must say no to what we want on a regular basis. It’s called self control. It applies to any facet of life.Ah, that doesn't mean you stop your medications and most important things to your life like my hubby used to frequently tell me : you stop taking those medicines you would be better(Any & all kinda meds).It doesn't work that way. Wants need to hear a 'No'than needs.
‘No’ appears counterintuitive to our belief in pursuing happiness. However, life will tell us ‘no’ many times and we must be able to accommodate that within our overall pursuit of happiness. Go out and do good! Oh heck, throw lots of love around too!!
Stay Happy My Friends!
