16 July 2009

The scriptures on husbands

Courtesy : the holy scriptures

We have all heard jokes about "who wears the pants in the family."
Yet, leadership in the home is no laughing matter. During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and
responsibilities of man and woman in society and in the home.
Many men are confused and insecure. Many do not know how to act in the home.
Growing up, they lacked a good model for leadership at home and have no mental picture of what it means to lead a family.
Consequently, they do not lead effectively, or they do not even try.
Increasingly, many men are becoming passive in the home.
They've decided that the easiest thing to do is nothing.
The simplest thing-with the smallest risk-is to stay on the fence with both feet firmly planted in mid-air and let the wife do it.
When a man is married to a strong wife who will take over, he often lets her do just that.Fortunately, there is an answer.but how many really understand the essence?
The Scriptures clearly give us the model for being a man, a husband and father.

Be a Leader:

"Head" does not mean male dominance, where a man lords it over a woman and demands her total obedience to his every wish and command. God never viewed women as second-class citizens. His Word clearly states that we are all equally His children and are of equal value and worth before Him,women are to be respected, revered, and treated as equals with men. Unfortunately, many husbands have not gotten the message. They degrade their wives by neglect or with insensitive and abusive treatment. One cause of the feminist movement may have been that men abandoned God's design. When God presented Eve to Adam in the Garden, Adam received her as a gift of great value to God and him. When husbands,do not treat their wives as a precious gift from God and helpmate, they can cause those wives to search for a way to find significance and value as persons, often outside.I believe wives want husbands and need them to lead. You are not demanding this position; on the contrary, God placed you there. You will not lead her perfectly, but you must care for you wife and family by serving them with perseverance.Scripture does more than assign leadership in a marriage to the husband, however. Those same passages you just read also provide a model for that leadership.valmiki says,that the husband is head of the wife as is a lord in a temple "This comparison of the husband with lord reveals the sense in which a man should be his wife's "head.""He is her head as being vitally interested in her welfare. He is her protector.

Love your wife unconditionally : The varaha purana states :Your unconditional acceptance of your wife is not based upon
her performance, but on her worth as God's gift to you.
If you want to love your wife unconditionally, always be sure her emotional tank is full.
One of the best ways to do that is to affirm her constantly.
Let her know verbally that you value her, respect her, and love her. many men fail to do that enough
There is no question that words communicate love, but so do actions. You need to do both

In one of the many letters written by socrates to his fellow men about marriage he says "let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth"
One of the missing ingredients in male leadership in homes is sacrificial action. When was the last time you gave up something for your wife-something you genuinely valued, like you reading a magazine or news paper, a television programme, or your laziness?
Sometimes you need to give up something you enjoy so your wife can have a break and see your love for her.

Serve your wife: being head of your wife does not mean being her master, but her companion. Again the scriptures show us how lord vishnu washed Rishi bhrigu's feet to
calm him.Lord(refering to Ram) the Head of the Temple, took on the very nature of a servant when He was made in human likeness.One of the best ways to serve your wife is to understand her needs and try to meet them. Do you know what your wife's top three needs are right now?

your wife has a different set of needs that you should try to meet. What is she worried about? What troubles her? What type of pressure does she feel? Learn the answers to questions like that, and then do what you can to reduce her worries, her troubles, her pressures.

What do you know about your wife's hopes and dreams? I bet she has plenty-do you know what they are?
Are you cultivating her gifts? If she has a knack for decorating, do you help her develop that?
Providing for your wife also means taking the initiative in helping meet her spiritual needs. You do this by modeling godly character, by praying with her, by spending time together in God's Word, and by looking for ways to encourage her spiritually.

The holy hindu scriptures say :
To be a leader, a lover, and a servant is to accommodate your life to the life of the gift God has given you-your wife.
Give up your life for hers and, at the Judgment Seat the lord, He will say, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."